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Reenergizing the Gremlin Creating Bridges to Awareness and Transformation By Joan Ramstedt Beliefs direct the course of our lives. Extremely powerful, they reflect the external and internal dialogue, decisions and actions we take. Beliefs operate on multiple levels and layers in our lives. Some beliefs are so embedded and fundamental to our way of life and existence they are what I refer to as core beliefs. Their origins may spring from either a place of love or fear and are rooted on a deep level, manifesting themselves as issues related to safety, and abundance on the one side and danger or lack of on the other. These opposites reflect the dual nature of beliefs. And because of this duality, it is a challenge to understand the nature of beliefs and to release or change the belief. Our human need for love and safety is a critical factor to survival. In response to this instinct, we adopt beliefs and internalized patterns of thinking and feeling which reflect themselves in behaviors. And while the patterns of behaviors might be necessary in one setting, they may be inappropriate or even unhealthy in another. However, they are created out of a “knowing” need to provide love and protection for ourselves within particular environments. And these servants which supported us so lovingly may have worn out their welcome and are now creating barriers to satisfaction in life. Creating bridges to support changes and reframe beliefs, altering time worn paradigms is a very exciting and transformational experience for both client and coach. Many contemporary theorists support the notion that our beliefs create our reality. When a client comes to coaching their perceived reality may be less than they desire or there may be a quiet voice of encouragement whispering “there is more”. As the coaching process unfolds, the individual will more than likely at some time during a session find themselves saying “ I’m stuck! I just can’t seem to take action in support of the changes I want to make” or “Why can’t I have what I want? “ At that point, I might ask “Is it possible that something is holding you back and if so what might that be?” A client truly mired in “stuck ness” may still have no clear answers, but the question holds within, a seed that is nourished by their subconscious mind and will on some level begin to search for the answer. And as we recall from an earlier discussion, some beliefs support perceived safety and predictability. And these beliefs guide and direct choice on multiple levels and in various ways in our lives. And even though there may be a deep desire to consider new ways of living, it can be positively overwhelming and even shattering for individuals to release their old patterns of behavior which support the “old” way of being. A belief can be so powerful that energetically it creates a “life of its own”. This presence fulfilling a long honored intention or purpose, can become more entrenched and even rigid when challenged or questioned in any way. The limiting belief may become so pronounced, that sometimes painful feelings of hopelessness and frustration take over and cause individuals to discontinue the process of personal discovery altogether. And if the client does choose to venture forward into the unknown, it may take days, weeks, months or longer of a gentle process of inquiry before they are comfortable and confident enough to unmask their true belief and bring if forward for further examination. The initial unmasking process is a pivotal event. One client described the experience as “one of straddling two cliffs knowing I need to make a choice, but terrified of letting go.” Other times individuals declare “ I am not going to think/believe/act that way any longer!”. And curiously I wonder, is there a compromise or tool available which serves the needs of the old belief and creates an entry point for new thinking? Questions surface such as “What’s a new way to consider this situation?” or “ What would make it easier in the moment?” and still there’s more… Holding true the idea that beliefs serve different purposes and contain a universal intelligence and the energy of Yin/Yang, it stands to reason that they have the potential to be transformed. If we take a moment and analyze the word transform i.e.; to change the nature, function or condition of within its roots we see one of many possible solutions to this inquiry. To transform the belief we must understand its purpose, intent and states of being. It has a dual nature, it has energy, it has intelligence and with it the potential to transform. But how to inspire this energetic crusader to relinquish it’s original intent and purpose with ease and grace in a gentle loving way, is a challenge faced by clients and coaches alike through this process of realization. Is it possible that within the nature of duality (love v. fear) an opportunity exists to draw the opposite (Yin/Yang) part of the belief into a transformational space that once again can ensure the individuals survivability, fulfillment and existence on a different level? Since there is an innate drive in living creatures toward love and away from pain, (which is why the gremlins were created in the first place to promote love and safety in the person’s life) the client must first be willing to see the limitation of the old belief. With this acknowledgement, the belief is free to energetically create another way of being which serves the client with a similar spirit of purpose and intent. Below is how one client made a most miraculous transformation. Case Study This client is a workaholic who finds ways of bringing excessive work and responsibility into her life to the point that her health and relationships are suffering. Although she indicates a true desire to change behaviors which no longer serve her, she remains stuck in a repeating pattern to her frustration and helplessness. She sees the need, acknowledges the pain, but the “entry point” where a new behavior can come into her life and influence choice is blurred. And this “entry point” where new behaviors supported by loving beliefs emerge, and the energy of limiting beliefs is released, is exactly where the ultimate transformation takes place. Like the person standing on the edge of the cliff above, the need to take the first step into the unknown is the most difficult of all. Clients stepping into the entry point, receive great benefit from identifying new and energizing roles for their Gremlins. Creating a name or metaphorical identity for the belief gives it a personality and often times a humorous presence with which individuals can connect on many different levels. In this case the client names her Gremlin “The Work Nazi”. Not such a pleasant name, but it implied a singular purpose which focused primarily on tasks and assignments. This “Work Nazi” was highly revered for years and years. Much recognition and rewards (familial and societal) accompanied the Gremlin (need for love and approval), as well as providing her the where with all to provide for herself and small child when she was found herself alone without other means of financial support (safety/survival). So this Gremlin served very important roles in the client’s life. However, when she realized the long hours were impacting her health (affecting safety/survival) and alienating others (affecting her need for love and connection), she knew on a deep level that she needed new approach. So a request was given the client; to ask herself whether the Gremlin could once again serve a purpose that honored and supported her during this time of transition? At first she tried to reject the Gremlin, (to let go) but it didn’t work. Time and time again she found herself repeating the same behavior. Stymied it took her several sessions to really connect with a new loving identity and essence of the gremlin But, once she made the connection she was able to find a wonderful new role for the Work Nazi. It now works diligently to patrol the boundaries of her life calendar (a very important job!) and when there is an indication that the work load is impacting her negatively )i.e.; creating a lack of well-being or disconnections from others, the Work Nazi is brought into center stage and given the task of self-monitoring (accountability) the calendar eliminating all unnecessary tasks and responsibilities and placing life affirming activities (safety/health) on the calendar until her life returns to a balanced state (love). For many the desire as we mentioned earlier to create love & balance exceeds the need to maintain the status quo. And this particular process has a curious way of accessing multiple layers and years of resistance and denial. And because it is so gentle, it has a way of shifting energy from what can be a very serious and painful process into one that is lighthearted and even humorous at times. So the duality, the energy, and the universal intelligence all work together beautifully to create a magnificent transformation for making new and energizing life choices granting the client a inside/out connection with her need for love and safety in the most honoring way of all. |
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